As you may have noticed, I am not your average middle-aged wife. I am young, and married when I was even younger. I'm sure many assume that I became pregnant and married mostly due to that. However, many would be wrong. I was not pregnant when I married my husband. I was 16, and made an informed decision to marry a man I knew would provide for my future, A man whom I love and want to be with. Many have criticized, ostracized and been just plain baffled at the choice I made. I heard comments of "Why would a smart girl throw her future away!?" and "at least wait until AFTER you have completed college" and the infamous "I give it a year....before he leaves her on the curb." Well intentioned family members gave me unwanted advice about the nature of the man I was choosing, informing me that you simply cannot trust men to stay in a marriage. What I believe many of these misguided well meaning people misunderstood, was that men are the cause of most failed relationships, when in fact it is the women who are the "terminators" of the relationship battlefield.
Five years later, everyone has started to quiet down a bit. I do still hear occasional "advice," but apparently no one put money on us making it past our first year of marriage.
Do I think I am more wise than my elders? No. I simply know that they are following the information they have gleaned through culture and media, in other words, I would have been regarding their advice, had we all been reading the same "playbook." Their playbook was an embittered, jaded worldview that consisted of the feministic ideals that were shoved down their throats as children.
I was reading unbiased materials about feminism, they were quoting Gloria Steinem. My husband WAS different (most men are generally better than what feminism ideology portrays), I saw this, but to them he was just another scum of the earth man. My mother was skeptical at the first, but came to support us soon after.
I know the modern worldview on young brides, and it is obviously not in favor of it. There is a stigma that comes with it, of ignorance and un-intelligence to have made such a foolish decision. It seems as though our parents generation would like to consider us childlike well into our late 20's. Incapable of making any good choices on our own, we are to be perpetual children. Have I changed so much from 16? Yes. I have become different, due to my life experiences, I am no longer a who I was, I am a wife, My husband is my world. Do I think I was under qualified to make the decision I did at 16? I truly and whole heartedly believe I made the right decision, and that I was more than mature enough to do so. I have enjoyed married life, being a mother and caring for my children with the expectation that I will not be half dead before I see grandchildren. :) My future is stable and solid.
Looking at my friends who are currently enrolled in colleges that are charging them exorbitantly, witout chosen majors, or even jobs most of the year, I wonder what their life will be like at the end. Will they be sucessful? some will, some won't. They flit and float like a butterfly from guy to guy, trying to "find the one", even though they themselves admit they have no clue what love is, they will simply know when they find it.....like a lightbulb turning on. But somehow, I was the odd one for using my youth to capture the best man I have ever met? How?
Have they changed since they were 16? yes, immensely. They make fewer good choices now. Most are so far in debt they have no clue as to the total. There are none left that stuck to the "I am saving myself for marriage", the virtues they did have are being wasted on men who have no interest in making them wives. When you lie with dogs you get fleas. They have mostly all become feminazi's who cannot or willnot sympathize with any perspectives that do not further their own agenda, therefore they fail miserably in relationships.
Do I think early marriage is the correct option for everyone, definatly not. I do believe with all my heart that marriage today is taken far too lightly, relationships in general. But I see no disadvantage in marrying young, if the man chosen is able to provide well and independantly for his bride and any future children, and if the woman is mature enough and level headed enough to know that marriage is not about a day where you get dressed up and say vows. If she understands that marriage is not playing "house," and that men have different needs than women. If she knows that her husband now comes before, Mother, Father, Friend, children And most importantly that he comes before SELF. Don't get married to be spoiled, get married to spoil your husband, you should love him more than enough to do so.
This is my choice, I am young, and I am enjoying this stage of life while I still have youth and beauty on my side.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Maturity?
I am evidently no longer considered a minor in any way now that I have just celebrated my 21st birthday. Not that it matters much considering that I never do plan on indulging in a drink, however it seems to be a huge milestone for some unknown reason. Perhaps it has to do with "maturity" seemingly looming for those who have chosen to spend the last four years in a drunken stupor in their sorority or frat houses. It seems as though once people turn 21, their priorities start to change, (for the most part, depending on who we are speaking of) almost as if they start to see how quickly age sneaks up on us.
I was surprised to learn that all of a sudden, when the number changes from a "teen" to a "twenty-something", People generally treat you differently. Tell me does the vast majority of the population believe that 16 year olds are so entirely different than 20 year olds? Do they really think that those 3-4 years make a huge impact on their lives, enough to change them so drastically as to make them adults? What experiences do they think they are having to give them the benefit of maturing? Completing high school? living away from mom & dad and attending college? REALLY? Is that the criteria? To earn maturity you must complete high school and attend college. Wow. Those are some very low standards.
What about having a job? Saving money? Learning how to handle Credit? How about being responsible? Whatever happened to responsibility? I suppose it is out of style. How sad. Now this is not to say that education is a negative, in many cases it is an extreme positive. However, why not teach our children to be responsible before sending them away to basically a Co-ed boarding school? How naive have parents been for the past decade to believe that their children have learned all the necessary skills they neglected to teach them.....at school?
I am sure that by the end of college many girls have changed quite a bit from their 16 year old selves, but for the better? I doubt if they hardly ever change for the better. And gained maturity............. ? Maybe, in the I've turned into an ice queen definition of the meaning. A good girl at 16 will usually turn into a cold hearted man hater, if left to her own devices during college. She will inevitably (this being the norm not the exception), drink, sleep with anything that gives her the faintest compliment to curry favor, and wake up in so many strange beds, that by the time she completes college, all she has left for her future husband is a college degree and no shred of dignity. She will lie about the "number" and try to fake being the fun, easy going girl she once was, even though she now carries more baggage than a bell boy. She will wait to settle, because career now has to be built, and then will wonder at the age of 35 about the lack of eligible bachelors. The good ones passing her up for the younger girls. She can't understand why they would pass her by...she has everything to offer.....she is a strong independent women, who is successful.
She foolishly still thinks she has youth and beauty, just because she has saved her body by remaining barren. She thinks youth and beauty is no more than appearance, and she truly believes - thanks to mainstream media that she is more beautiful now than she was at 20. But she is used and washed up and most men are not blinded by her pretenses of youth. She idolizes Carrie from sex and the city, and most men who will give her the time of day, fail to meet up to her golden standard of perfection. But around 40 she settles for a man who at 35, she would have turned down. She proceeds to cure her barren womb, and conceive a child, with help from a doctor of course. She then justifies her years of drunken, barren, singleness by telling herself that it was worth it, because she has a good career...she has something to fall back on when raising her one child becomes a bit too overwhelming. She proceeds to look down her wrinkled, sun spotted nose at all young wives and mothers because they do not have it all together the way she does. She truly is a frightful spectacle to behold!
There is a male version of this woman, But these sort of women are generally not created by men, they are created by our feminist society, telling women lies of the devil. Men do play a part, they can stand their ground, and be real men, instead of the Glorified sissies that the media constantly portrays as desirable. When I say real men, I mean honorable, good, trustworthy men of character, not some charade of Macho man who likes to treat women as doormats to wipe their feet on. (tho I will admit the modern woman is not worthy of much more, but this is cyclical) Nor do I mean men that let their wives control every aspect of their marriage, until they feel as if they are simply another child. No one likes a simpering idiot, who in his trying to please his wife out of love or laziness, lets her always have her own way. Women need to be thwarted in love a little.
This woman is what has become of our society, a self serving whore who does not give 2 shits about men. Modern women (with a few exceptions) have more expectation, less responsibility and no regret.
This is the reality of feminism.
I was surprised to learn that all of a sudden, when the number changes from a "teen" to a "twenty-something", People generally treat you differently. Tell me does the vast majority of the population believe that 16 year olds are so entirely different than 20 year olds? Do they really think that those 3-4 years make a huge impact on their lives, enough to change them so drastically as to make them adults? What experiences do they think they are having to give them the benefit of maturing? Completing high school? living away from mom & dad and attending college? REALLY? Is that the criteria? To earn maturity you must complete high school and attend college. Wow. Those are some very low standards.
What about having a job? Saving money? Learning how to handle Credit? How about being responsible? Whatever happened to responsibility? I suppose it is out of style. How sad. Now this is not to say that education is a negative, in many cases it is an extreme positive. However, why not teach our children to be responsible before sending them away to basically a Co-ed boarding school? How naive have parents been for the past decade to believe that their children have learned all the necessary skills they neglected to teach them.....at school?
I am sure that by the end of college many girls have changed quite a bit from their 16 year old selves, but for the better? I doubt if they hardly ever change for the better. And gained maturity............. ? Maybe, in the I've turned into an ice queen definition of the meaning. A good girl at 16 will usually turn into a cold hearted man hater, if left to her own devices during college. She will inevitably (this being the norm not the exception), drink, sleep with anything that gives her the faintest compliment to curry favor, and wake up in so many strange beds, that by the time she completes college, all she has left for her future husband is a college degree and no shred of dignity. She will lie about the "number" and try to fake being the fun, easy going girl she once was, even though she now carries more baggage than a bell boy. She will wait to settle, because career now has to be built, and then will wonder at the age of 35 about the lack of eligible bachelors. The good ones passing her up for the younger girls. She can't understand why they would pass her by...she has everything to offer.....she is a strong independent women, who is successful.
She foolishly still thinks she has youth and beauty, just because she has saved her body by remaining barren. She thinks youth and beauty is no more than appearance, and she truly believes - thanks to mainstream media that she is more beautiful now than she was at 20. But she is used and washed up and most men are not blinded by her pretenses of youth. She idolizes Carrie from sex and the city, and most men who will give her the time of day, fail to meet up to her golden standard of perfection. But around 40 she settles for a man who at 35, she would have turned down. She proceeds to cure her barren womb, and conceive a child, with help from a doctor of course. She then justifies her years of drunken, barren, singleness by telling herself that it was worth it, because she has a good career...she has something to fall back on when raising her one child becomes a bit too overwhelming. She proceeds to look down her wrinkled, sun spotted nose at all young wives and mothers because they do not have it all together the way she does. She truly is a frightful spectacle to behold!
There is a male version of this woman, But these sort of women are generally not created by men, they are created by our feminist society, telling women lies of the devil. Men do play a part, they can stand their ground, and be real men, instead of the Glorified sissies that the media constantly portrays as desirable. When I say real men, I mean honorable, good, trustworthy men of character, not some charade of Macho man who likes to treat women as doormats to wipe their feet on. (tho I will admit the modern woman is not worthy of much more, but this is cyclical) Nor do I mean men that let their wives control every aspect of their marriage, until they feel as if they are simply another child. No one likes a simpering idiot, who in his trying to please his wife out of love or laziness, lets her always have her own way. Women need to be thwarted in love a little.
This woman is what has become of our society, a self serving whore who does not give 2 shits about men. Modern women (with a few exceptions) have more expectation, less responsibility and no regret.
This is the reality of feminism.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
